Witness

 

Living out in the country like we do, I get to witness new things every week.

Like this morning, I went out to feed the barn cats and returning I heard who-whowho-who in the trees of our neighbor’s property. I stood and listened to the whooting. It seemed almost fake at first. Then as the rhythm progressed, the owl calling in the dawn, the irregularity of it’s call created the feeling of reality in my brain.

Last week I witnessed a funny, sad, scary moment when the four deer that visit each day moved into our front gardens munching on whatever they could find. I looked again and one deer had a bucket on her head. Her ears weren’t inside the bucket so I had hopes she could shake it off. I thought about going out to help, but I knew the group would just run away into the woods. The other deer stood still and watched the crazy one with the bucket on her head, like some teen crazy stunt drama in my front yard. Later that day I found said bucket, so all is well with that deer. The small herd has not been back since the incident.

I’ve watched barn cats give birth and conversely mourn for their dead kittens. I’ve seen chickens sit in my presence and roosters walk away from a fight with me.

I’ve seen a huge 10-point buck chase his herd past my window.

I’ve seen run-away dogs, hungry, ribs showing, refusing any food I offer.

I’ve seen raccoon antics on my bird feeders, possums sitting on my front porch doing a cat imitation, crows warn other crows that I’m on my walk, woodpeckers chase bluejays from their tree and black birds chase crows from their trees.

I’ve seen the most beautiful rainbows to which no camera would do justice. I’ve seen cloud formations that no one would believe even if I could find the words. I’ve noticed raspberry patches dry up and move to new locations. I’ve seen buzzards show up during butchering time. I’ve seen a falcon fly straight-arrow, four feet from the ground, past my window, grabbing a sparrow without a flinch of flight pattern.

I’ve seen hawks dive for rodents and snatch them back to the big cottonwood in the back. I’ve seen all sorts of birds the books say I’m not supposed to see. I’ve watched spiders do things the books say they aren’t supposed to do. I heard bird song I can’t identify, even with the websites and apps. I hear the sounds the birds make quietly, privately as I move past their nesting place.

I witness the effects of rain on our gravel driveway, rivulets of quasi creeks pushing our expensive stone further down the hill ending in mud puddles.

But most of all, I witness how God cares for his creatures, how they use whatever He gives them to make a life for themselves. I’ve tried to make order out of chaos and witnessed how fast life goes back to nature, then realized that my order might be the chaos.

Witness – 12-16-22 – FMF

 

Instant

 

 

Here are a few of the INSTANTs in my life:

Instant coffee

Instant friendship

Instantaneous

Instant pudding

Instant pancakes

Instant potatoes

Instant soup

Instant beef bullion and beef flavoring

Instant paper-mᾰche’

Instant Jello

Instant dislike

Instant pets

Instant plants

Instant house

Instant bed

Instant desk

Instant work

Instant dirt

Instant mess

Instant disaster

Instant accident

Instant fire

Instant music

Instant fame

Instant failure

Instant – FMF – 12-2-22

Like

 

Phoenix, AZ

Like an eagle

Like every other person in the world

Like Bogie and Bacall

Like a chicken with its head cut off

Like a bat out of H E double toothpicks

Like, that’s what he said

Like sands through an hourglass

 

 

I like fried fish.

I like turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, and gravy.

I like my family around me laughing and enjoying each other’s company.

I like getting mail.

I like good book reviews on Amazon.

I like a good book that doesn’t preach at me.

I like the desert.

I like trips to Amish Country.

I like getting presents.

I like giving presents even more.

 

 

I want to be like those writers that crank out a book every year on subject they feel passionate about.

I want to be like the consistent novelist that publish every few years.

I want people to read and like my book. If that’s not possible I want people to read my book.

I want people to like me. (sometimes that’s a problem)

I want to be like my husband, willing to help people out, stable and dependable, fun to be around, having a sense of humor, being likeable.

I want to be like Jesus.

Join us at Five Minute Friday.

LIKE – 11-24-22 – FMF

Laugh

 

I’m laughing. God is so good. He’s so creative. The things He shows me a are wonderful and quirky and unique and always wise.

Today God reminded me that I am a sparrow in a world of blue jays. I’m by myself sometimes, but usually with a crowd. I go eat when it’s quiet, but when the blue jays come, I get out of the way. I wouldn’t dare pick a fight with a blue jay. Have you seen their beaks? Even when the blue jays chase me off, and that happens a lot, I’m still a sparrow, precious in the His eyes, worth more than I will ever understand. And He takes care of me.

Today God reminded me that prayers are always answered. I don’t get to see the answers sometimes, but when I do, and when I see how He has orchestrated His answer, I praise Him.

God reminded me today that even in the midst of terrible things, burdened with more prayers for others than I can remember (so I write them down), I am still under the command to praise Him. He is in control. He makes it all work out for good in the end.

-

Laughter is complicated. I laugh when I’m embarrassed or when something really shocking happens. This is usually understood the wrong way, like teachers thinking I wasn’t taking them seriously or people being offended at the laugh I gave in the face of a horrible tragedy. When it’s inappropriate I apologize.

I laugh when I know someone is telling a bold-faced lie. I laugh when something I knew would happen happens. I laugh when bad things happen to bad people. I laugh at inappropriate jokes. I laugh when someone makes a mistake that I find funny.

And I insult a lot of people.

But I also laugh at jokes that aren’t really funny because someone was trying to lighten the mood, create a new joke, find some meaning. I laugh at things because, in a way, laughter is an emotion that blurts out before I realize what’s happening.

Human weakness sucks.

But today I’m laughing appropriately. God gives me glimpses of His humor and love. He forgives me for laughing at the wrong time and shows me when I do so I can apologize to all involved.

God created laughter so our souls wouldn’t die of pain, so we wouldn’t take the world too seriously. I know how it all ends. God wins. Jesus is King. I get to hang out with everybody who believes that forever. That makes me happy.

So I laugh.

“Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future.” – Proverbs 31:25

 

Join Five Minute Friday and share a thought or two.

Laugh – FMF – 11-18-22

Perform

 

Perform is a negative word for me.

I was expected to perform on a regular basis, and that performance had to be perfect. Somehow, if it wasn’t perfect and even though I was told “it’s okay” it didn’t feel okay.

Not being perfect was failure.

I found lots of ways of coping with the unattainable goal, but mostly I got addicted to success. If I had success, my life was livable, I was accepted, I was loved. If I failed, no one looked at me, I felt shunned, I was angry and frustrated, and I hid.

Soon I was not just hiding after failure, but I was hiding from performing. Performing meant there was a real possibility of failure and I just couldn’t take failure anymore. So I hid.

Hiding took a lot of forms:

-          Sleeping in late

-          Getting sick

-          Forgetting

-          Eating comfort food

-          Drinking

-          Acting out

-          Folding in on myself

Then I found different ways to hide:

-          Getting new friends

-          Blocking out old friends (who knew my failures)

-          Ignoring or avoiding people who I perceived I had failed or hurt in some way

And all because I felt I was expected to perform.

 

I did perform quiet a bit. I did everything my parents told me to do. I was able to attain a boyfriend every year, sometimes two per year (this was a goal of most of the girls in school). I performed on stage in band, in choir, in small groups and ensembles, solo piano, solo flute, even solo voice. I performed for my college friends by telling them stories about the desert where I lived. I performed for my teachers by telling them I would do better. Later I performed for my husband by keeping a clean house and making sure the dishes were done (with children in the mix, you can imagine how often I failed). I performed for my children by being loving, kind, but making sure they were obedient.

This behavior has hounded me my entire life.

But, Thank God, I get relief in Jesus. Jesus did the perfect performance in His life and His sacrifice and His awesome resurrection. Then He gave that to me.

Now, I don’t have to perform. I can fail and still be loved. I can make big mistakes and be forgiven.

Even better, I have the Spirit to teach me, to warn me when I feel the need to perform, or the need to cope in an unhealthy way.

Thank You, God, for Your plan!

Thank You Jesus!

Perform – 11-4-22 – Five Minute Friday

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Me

 

 

This past month it’s been mostly about me. I’ve tried to share what I know in an attempt to help some struggling writer, but to be totally honest –

It’s been about me

My writing

My goals in life

My past experiences

Me motivating me

I feel like I should apologize, but I don’t think I need to. Most blogs are about the person writing the blog. Even if it is about them, it helps me (usually) when I read it because I internalize their thoughts and feelings and make the best my own.

So it’s okay that this month has been about me.

 

Me

Me getting it out

Me venting

Me making myself heard

Me inventing things from other things like a chef … or Dr. Frankenstein

Me trying to please people and me trying to be myself

Me thinking weird things and writing them down and hiding them then finding them again and loving them

Me finding my voice, then using my voice, then making people angry

Me refining my voice and using my voice and making people think

 

I

I love blogging. I learn so much.

Sometimes I have to force myself to sit at the computer and put down words. Other times I’m excited because I have a great idea and I can’t wait to flesh it out.

I love writing.

And blogging gives me readers.

 

You

Thank you, my readers, for joining me on this 31-day journey of

Thinking about writing

Writing about writing

Struggling with writing

Failing at writing

Having success at writing

Learning about writing

Teaching a little about writing

 

Myself

Writing to me is like breathing and for almost three years I didn’t do much. I tried to write for National Novel Writing Month last year, but the story didn’t go very far, I ran out of energy, and too many voices of accusation, irritation and failure ran through my head.

The extra hours at work didn’t help either.

But this 31-day challenge put the spark back in my heart. It gave me a doable goal to achieve. It refreshed my old love of putting words down and rearranging them.

And it showed me I can still do it.

 

Thank You

Thank you, Kate Motaung, for the opportunity to create a goal and a place to put my work.

Much success in your writing future.

See you in the blogosphere!

 

By the way

I have three published books. The first, a how-to, Love To Write Every Day, helps children and adults put pen to paper. The second, a devotional, Before Coffee God, is a 40-day (plus a little more) look at how God speaks to us. The third, The Porch, is a novel about a young man fitting in at a new job and learning about life on a ranch.

Me – 10-31-22 – 31 Days of Writing About Writing

photo info - my oak tree in the back yard

Yes

 

 

Say “Yes.”

Say “yes” to the job.

Say “yes” to the challenge.

Say “yes” to the writing magazine subscription.

Say “yes” to helping the person you don’t know very well.

Say “yes” to giving a little bit more to church.

Say “yes” to God.

 

Say “yes” to waiting.

Say “yes” to delayed gratification.

Say “yes” to working an extra hour.

Say “yes” to going out of your way to assist.

Say “yes” to the challenge.

Say “yes” to failure, own up to it.

Say “yes” to the extra mile, your shoes will not wear out.

Say “yes” to boundaries.

Say “yes” to letting worthless things go.

 

Say “yes” to walk on the narrow path.

Say “yes” to suffering, praying through it.

Say “yes” to conviction and discipline, humble yourself and learn from it.

Say “yes” to trust.

Say “yes” to praying with someone and praying for someone.

Say “yes” to carrying another’s burden.

Yes – 10-30-22 – 31 Days of Writing About Writing

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